How do you deal with parents disagreeing with neutralizing gender?
This is a question that came up in class after the Sex and Gender presentation. I think it is a good question and a difficult one to deal with. Coming from a small farming community, gender roles are quite well defined and it is easily noticed and talked about if someone is doing differently.
As teachers we are encouraged to step out of the bubble and look into the community we are working with in order to see things from a non biased perspective. It makes it much more easy for us to neutralize gender in our eyes. Individuality and choice are what we value. However, when dealing with pink vs. blue it is a controversial concept.
Parents raise their children as boys and girls, blue and pink. Perhaps it is because they are less likely to look at the imposed genders we have in our culture. They are following the norms as they see fit and acceptable. So when the teacher makes a comment about how Jocelyn likes to wear guy jeans and be called Joe, and that that is her personal decision and is not to be seen negatively, mom and dad may disagree.
I think in our white western Christian culture it is "natural" to identify things with male vs. female roles. It is tradition. It is "written". To neutralize these standards and values is threatening to Biblical account.
So how do we deal with confrontation from parents?
It is important to always remember who we have behind us. Administration is there for back up. However, it doesn't hurt to sit down and get on the same page with the parents. Be sure to stress that in no way do you wish to offend their beliefs.
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I think parents need to realize that in some way when we are trying to more or less neutralize gender, we are trying to get rid of biases and stereotypes which is only going to benefit their children. I'm doing a paper about gender bias and for example, different behaviours are praised for each gender. Therefore johnny might get a pat on the back for being competitive but sue might be told she needs to use her cooperation skills instead. Do the parents really want their children to be treated differently based on gender? Do parents not want their girls to take wood work and mechanics classes and want their boys to learn how to cook? I think it's essential we help them to see things a bit from our perspective and realize it is really going to help their children if we treat them as individuals and not based on gender, they way they might have grown up being treated.
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